I have been thinking lots about what it means to be a 'cooperante' or development worker as compared to being an NGO worker working on lots of the same issues in my own country. Although a lot of the topics, problems and ways of working are the same, the politics are very different and a little uncomfortable at times.
Until now I have always been in the very comfortable position of studying development and criticising it from the outside, but now I now work in development. I feel like that transition somehow happened without me quite realising it.
Before arriving here I had somehow been thinking that I was continuing doing the same kind of communications and campaigning work, just in a different country. And in some ways I am, but the change of location from Edinburgh to Quito and from North to South also has a lot of implications.
I don’t think I had fully made the connections between that move and all of the politics of all the history and power relations of Development. (Being part of a UK development organisation with a clear agenda and power base – one of many forces trying to shape and change things here).
It is funny seeing myself through others’ eyes – imaging the stereotype I fit into for different groups of people I meet as they try to place me. Taxi drivers for example figure me out in 3 questions: “where are you from?”, “How long are you here for?”, “Ah you must be working for some charity or other – orphans maybe or the environment?”.
Trying to explain what I do to them makes me feel like a nice, idealistic little white girl naively imagining I can save the world. The jargon I inevitably slip into in my explanation “development”, “sustainable environment”, “civil society participation”, “advocacy at an international level” seems quite a long way from their reality as they begin their night shifts.
And I think a lot of people I meet from local organisations see me and my gringa face and see money – a possible connection to a development organisation in the UK and its funds. It is also amusing how frequently people feel they have to apologise after criticising northern consumers, lifestyles, companies and culture as they remember that I am there – as if I am representative of all things evil, exploitative and capitalist. (Not a position I often found myself in in Scotland!).